Boy or Girl

My Precious Child, 

You have officially been growing for 18 weeks. You are the sweetest, mellowest little bug and I already love you to pieces. Your Nana Gail always told me that God doesn't give you what you think you want, He gives you what you need. We may not have been planning for you but you are the most beautiful surprise and you are SO wanted. I love to lay on the bed and play music for you. I felt your first flutters to the song "Night Moves" by Bob Seger, a sure-fire sign that those musical Wold genes may be carrying on. (YAY!)

This week we will go to our 18 week ultrasound and (hopefully) see if you are male or female. People have been asking me whether or not we want to learn your "gender" - something that makes me kind of crazy since gender is a socialized concept and you have no gender at the moment... but here I go on one of my sociology/women's studies rants. You're going to have to forgive me, baby. You'll be hearing a lot of those. I hope they make you well rounded and reflective and only minimally annoyed. 

Long story short: we will find out your biological sex this week. Does that mean that we will stock up on pink or blue onesies and fill your room with tutus or trucks? No. We are learning your sex because we want to know all that we can about you. What does your face look like? How fast is your heart beating? And yes... what "business" do you have going on down there? Sex doesn't tell us a whole lot. It will, however, help us choose a name for you - something I've been thinking about since way before I thought about being a mother. Names are so important and we want to make sure you have a strong, beautiful name that you won't mind saying with every introduction and signing on paperwork throughout your life. 

But gender... now that's a different beast entirely. Society assigns us all certain roles and expectations according to our biological sex. Boys are expected to be strong, assertive, tough, athletic, and brave (i.e. "tough it up"). Girls are expected to be polite, sweet, quiet, loving, and affectionate (i.e. "girls should be seen and not heard"). There is this assumption that boys should pop out of the womb with an innate love of hunting, sports, and motorcycles. Girls should be instantly drawn to dolls, makeup, and princesses. Don't believe any of that bologna. 

I'm going to make this as perfectly clear as I can, little nugget: no matter your biological sex, your daddy and I don't give a damn whether you like football, choir, drama, art, dance, or something that we haven't even heard of yet. If you like it, we will support you. I may be guilty of putting flowered headbands or newsboy hats on your little noggin the first few months but I refuse to gender-ize you ad nauseum. You will never hear expressions like, "boys don't cry" or "act like a lady" because you can be sweet and powerful and genuine and assertive and affectionate and strong all at once. Boy or girl, you are capable of far more than the gender expectations that have been set before you. Ignore them. Be exactly the kind of boy/girl you want to be. 

Thank you again for being so kind to Mama. I appreciate you making this so much fun and so little work for me. I can't wait to see your precious little face. 

Love Always and Forever, 

Mom