Hopes

My Precious Child,

I have already fallen in love with you. No morning sickness. No intense cravings or aversions. No real symptoms other than fatigue and very mild aches and pains. You, my lovely child, are taking it pretty easy on me. Thank you.

We went to the first prenatal appointment and were told that your approximate due date is March 19^th. At the appointment today, we heard your heartbeat. It is my new favorite sound! 

Next week we plan to see your very first picture. I have a feeling you will be as photogenic as can be, even if you are just a tiny little nugget. As priceless as that moments are, I have had my own little moments of confirmation with you over the past few weeks. Quiet moments. Little twinges in my lower belly remind me that you are forming. Right there. Inside of me. Always with me.

At this very moment, you are about the size of a prune. Your little limbs are forming and your nerve cells are connecting with one another. I want to kiss your tiny fingers and toes and hold you close to my heart. I want to rock you to sleep with old Bob Dylan songs and teach you the same nursery rhymes my parents taught me.

But for now I have only my dreams of you. Hopes.

I hope that you will never underestimate the power of compassion. I hope that you can drown out the voices telling you that you’re not good enough. I hope that you fight for the underdog and see the best in people. I hope that you forgive yourself when you fall short of your own expectations; you’ll learn that nothing is a mistake so long as you learn something from it. I hope that you allow yourself to be vulnerable, that you’re raw and honest enough to fall into a life changing love – the kind of love that I found with your father when I least expected it. 

I hope that you will never allow your heart to harden or your faith to dwindle. I hope that you see this gigantic world from a place of empathy and kindness. There are billions of people on this planet, each one with a heart, a soul, an opinion, and people who love them. You are no better than and no less than anyone else. Don’t believe the fools who try to tell you otherwise. I hope that you remember that home is always a safe place – where truth and consideration will always win out over judgment and criticism. I hope you know that there is nothing you could ever do that could make me stop loving you.

My mother has told me dozens of times that my sister and I are the greatest joys of her life. I understand now exactly what she means. I look forward to the rest of my life more than ever before knowing that you will be a part of it, my precious baby.

Love Forever and Always,

Mom