Saved by Grace
My Precious Child,
I have heard over and over again that I take things personally. Too personally. I'm soft-hearted and sensitive about things that are not meant to be personal attacks at all. And to an extent, I agree with that. I dwell too long and too hard on things that have little to no effect on my own life. I can pretty much guarantee that you will at some point see me crying on the couch over an injustice or a tragedy that happened hundreds or thousands of miles away. God bless your daddy, he will probably tell you that I have a big heart and that I will be fine.
And I always am fine. I allow myself some quiet time to process what happened. I have myself a real good cry and I go about my day. Because I have to. I can't allow myself to be consumed with thoughts of war, murder, disease, hunger, and tragedies that I don't understand all day long. My heart and my mind can't handle it. Nobody's can.
But there is something that is weighing heavy on my heart today. I'm not sure how long America's obsession with reality TV will last, so this may sound like a completely foreign idea by the time you read this but I will do my best to explain. Phil Robertson is the man who created Duck Commander duck calls. He and his family have a TV show called Duck Dynasty that has taken off like crazy over the last couple years. You can't swing a cat in a department store without hitting some sort of Duck Dynasty product. Like most other reality shows, the show is half real/half contrived to rake in viewers. It centers around the Robertson family and their backwoods shenanigans. Very humorous. Very silly. Highly profitable for the family and the A&E network alike.
And unlike the Hollywood norm, the Robertsons are devout Christians. Phil has been outspoken since the show's start that he is an unashamed, unapologetic God-fearing man. He believes in the same loving, almighty creator that your daddy and I do. But as I continue to learn every day, there are so many differences of opinion even within our Christian faith. That was made blatantly clear over the last day and a half. Quotes were released from an interview Phil gave with GQ magazine in which he stated:
The statements inevitably led to A&E suspending him from the show and backlash erupted. Some voiced their outrage with A&E, stating that suspending Phil was a breach of his freedoms of speech and religion. Others voiced support for A&E, stating that the company has every right to fire Phil if they felt his comments misrepresented the network. I have chosen to remain fairly quiet on the subject. It's not that I don't care about that particular debate, it's that I simply don't have the time for it. The name-calling and polarization that ensue from any controversy of this kind just drain the energy right out of me.
But it got me thinking. I knew that this is something I wanted to write to you about. I didn't know how and I didn't know when but what better time than the present? Long story short: Phil Robertson's statements hurt my heart, baby girl. His comparison of homosexuality to bestiality and prostitution frustrated and infuriated me. His insinuation that a gay man simply makes the illogical choice of an anus over a vagina is a concept that made my head spin. What hurt the most was knowing that, though these kinds of comments are not expressed as blatantly as they once were, they are in no way uncommon or unique - especially among Christians.
I want you to know, as I'm sure you will, that I am a Christian. That being said, I in no way believe that homosexuals "won't inherit the kingdom of God." I do not believe that homosexuality is a choice. Just as quickly as someone can throw out a literally interpreted quote from Leviticus, I could give an alternative interpretation or historical reference that contradicts it. But that's a topic for another day. What I know is this: you were created by an all-powerful, all-knowing God that instructed us to love one another deeply above ALL else. Above bigotry. Above disgust. Above distain. Above hatred. Above lust. Above envy. Above judgment. Above all: LOVE. Because love, He says, can cover over a multitude of sins.
I want you to know that it is by GRACE you have been saved through faith. We have not been saved by our own works, by acting or not acting in any certain way, but by GRACE, which is the ultimate gift from God. How beautiful is that? In spite of every single one of our imperfections, our unlovable moments, our irrational fits of rage - God's grace saved our souls. We are children of God, every single one of us. The devout. The confused. The lost. The strong. The heroic. The outspoken. The silent. The straight. And yes... the gay.
I want you to know that no matter who you are and no matter who you love, you are loved so fiercely that words don't even do it justice. That love is not only from me and your daddy, it is from the force that created you and all things. I am comfortable calling that force God. You will not be judged in this house for being straight, gay, bisexual, or some sort of sexuality I haven't even heard of yet. You are my precious baby girl. There is absolutely nothing in this whole world that could make me love you any less than I do. Some of my fellow Christians use our foundational religious platform to justify beliefs that I feel contradict my own personal faith so deeply that it breaks my heart. But despite the frustration I feel in these moments of conflict and debate, I am a Christian. I am in awe of the miracle God is forming in my belly as I type: YOU. His unending mercy has allowed me the kind of comfort and warmth that is hard to describe. I pray that you feel that too.
Love Always and Forever,
Mom
I have heard over and over again that I take things personally. Too personally. I'm soft-hearted and sensitive about things that are not meant to be personal attacks at all. And to an extent, I agree with that. I dwell too long and too hard on things that have little to no effect on my own life. I can pretty much guarantee that you will at some point see me crying on the couch over an injustice or a tragedy that happened hundreds or thousands of miles away. God bless your daddy, he will probably tell you that I have a big heart and that I will be fine.
And I always am fine. I allow myself some quiet time to process what happened. I have myself a real good cry and I go about my day. Because I have to. I can't allow myself to be consumed with thoughts of war, murder, disease, hunger, and tragedies that I don't understand all day long. My heart and my mind can't handle it. Nobody's can.
But there is something that is weighing heavy on my heart today. I'm not sure how long America's obsession with reality TV will last, so this may sound like a completely foreign idea by the time you read this but I will do my best to explain. Phil Robertson is the man who created Duck Commander duck calls. He and his family have a TV show called Duck Dynasty that has taken off like crazy over the last couple years. You can't swing a cat in a department store without hitting some sort of Duck Dynasty product. Like most other reality shows, the show is half real/half contrived to rake in viewers. It centers around the Robertson family and their backwoods shenanigans. Very humorous. Very silly. Highly profitable for the family and the A&E network alike.
And unlike the Hollywood norm, the Robertsons are devout Christians. Phil has been outspoken since the show's start that he is an unashamed, unapologetic God-fearing man. He believes in the same loving, almighty creator that your daddy and I do. But as I continue to learn every day, there are so many differences of opinion even within our Christian faith. That was made blatantly clear over the last day and a half. Quotes were released from an interview Phil gave with GQ magazine in which he stated:
"Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men. Don't be deceived. Neither the adulterers, the idolaters, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers—they won't inherit the kingdom of God. Don't deceive yourself. It's not right."
He went on to say:
"It seems like, to me, a vagina—as a man—would be more desirable than a man's anus. That's just me. I'm just thinking: There's more there! She’s got more to offer. I mean, come on, dudes! You know what I'm saying? But hey, sin: It's not logical, my man. It's just not logical."
The statements inevitably led to A&E suspending him from the show and backlash erupted. Some voiced their outrage with A&E, stating that suspending Phil was a breach of his freedoms of speech and religion. Others voiced support for A&E, stating that the company has every right to fire Phil if they felt his comments misrepresented the network. I have chosen to remain fairly quiet on the subject. It's not that I don't care about that particular debate, it's that I simply don't have the time for it. The name-calling and polarization that ensue from any controversy of this kind just drain the energy right out of me.
But it got me thinking. I knew that this is something I wanted to write to you about. I didn't know how and I didn't know when but what better time than the present? Long story short: Phil Robertson's statements hurt my heart, baby girl. His comparison of homosexuality to bestiality and prostitution frustrated and infuriated me. His insinuation that a gay man simply makes the illogical choice of an anus over a vagina is a concept that made my head spin. What hurt the most was knowing that, though these kinds of comments are not expressed as blatantly as they once were, they are in no way uncommon or unique - especially among Christians.
I want you to know, as I'm sure you will, that I am a Christian. That being said, I in no way believe that homosexuals "won't inherit the kingdom of God." I do not believe that homosexuality is a choice. Just as quickly as someone can throw out a literally interpreted quote from Leviticus, I could give an alternative interpretation or historical reference that contradicts it. But that's a topic for another day. What I know is this: you were created by an all-powerful, all-knowing God that instructed us to love one another deeply above ALL else. Above bigotry. Above disgust. Above distain. Above hatred. Above lust. Above envy. Above judgment. Above all: LOVE. Because love, He says, can cover over a multitude of sins.
I want you to know that it is by GRACE you have been saved through faith. We have not been saved by our own works, by acting or not acting in any certain way, but by GRACE, which is the ultimate gift from God. How beautiful is that? In spite of every single one of our imperfections, our unlovable moments, our irrational fits of rage - God's grace saved our souls. We are children of God, every single one of us. The devout. The confused. The lost. The strong. The heroic. The outspoken. The silent. The straight. And yes... the gay.
I want you to know that no matter who you are and no matter who you love, you are loved so fiercely that words don't even do it justice. That love is not only from me and your daddy, it is from the force that created you and all things. I am comfortable calling that force God. You will not be judged in this house for being straight, gay, bisexual, or some sort of sexuality I haven't even heard of yet. You are my precious baby girl. There is absolutely nothing in this whole world that could make me love you any less than I do. Some of my fellow Christians use our foundational religious platform to justify beliefs that I feel contradict my own personal faith so deeply that it breaks my heart. But despite the frustration I feel in these moments of conflict and debate, I am a Christian. I am in awe of the miracle God is forming in my belly as I type: YOU. His unending mercy has allowed me the kind of comfort and warmth that is hard to describe. I pray that you feel that too.
Love Always and Forever,
Mom
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